Our bodies writing lyrics

Oh God it's so late but I'm so wired. I can't be bothered scraping off the remains of my made up face I just want to sit here and mull things over, just mull mull mull. I played a gig tonight just on my own which I haven't done for like a year or so and I don't even know what happened to me in that year, it was probably year 12 but I've become cautious and careful. Somehow I think my teenage blood boiled so high that I scared myself into paralysis. 


But I dragged myself through fears and doubts and tears and romantic failures and other ridiculousnesses and I'm alright. I have trouble being happy with what I can produce these days because I know I can write better songs - I just need to learn more about everything ever, music wise, living wise, you know. And like, that takes time. 


But I just looked at the audience tonight and God comparing myself to last year's version I can't believe the change, I can't believe what hasn't changed and I can't believe there are still people willing to part with $10 and catch trains and make time to come and see me play. 


So in my typical way I just want to touch people on the forearm then hug them then sigh and hold my heart with my hand and try to communicate this strange obsessive monumental gratitude for their interest in my activities. 


Urrrrgh yeah. Anyway I've been meaning to tell you all about my week with Steve Reich, he's amazing and has composed all these cool things and yeah enjoy