Not today Satan, not today!

I've recently become severely addicted to RuPaul's Drag Race, and am trying to make my way through all the seasons (if any of y'all can link me to Season 4 and Season 5 that would be swell...). In doing so, I've not only severely reduced my hours of 'productivity', but also, on a more positive note, rediscovered my looooooooooooooove for drag queens. I love them, I love the concepts, I love the creativity, I love the craftsmanship, I love the showmanship, I love lip-synching, I love pretty much all of it right down to the way that, on that godforsaken show, Rupaul takes the competing queens out for lunch and only ever has two TicTacs on her plate. I sent a fuzzy iPhone pic of that to my boyfriend because I thought it was the funniest damn thing I've ever seen on my 22 years on this planet. 

Oh my god Lady Gaga and Bianca Del Rio hanging out.

When I was in New York, we went out one night and stumbled across a drag show in Brooklyn someplace. We were on our way to somewhere else, kinda drunk, and it was dark and dive-y, but I was so excited to see a *real* **New York Drag Queen!!!** that I think my enthusiasm infected the others and we stayed for a while to watch. I don't know her name, but I remember going up on stage with some weird little box that she had hidden around the bar, upon her asking us to look for it and come up to meet her if we found it. I remember pointing it out sitting on a tiny shelf, and L nudging me to go up and get it. Normally I would DIE at the thought of any kind of audience participation, even in a tiny little bar in Brooklyn where, except for the three others I was with, I could remain completely anonymous. But like I said, we were a few drinks down and I felt a strong, specific combination of Semi Drunk and #yolo so I edged my way up to the stage, in flower-crown and cheetah-print furry cape, clutching the little box. 

She completely towered over me, nearly twice my height, like some kind of expensive high-art installation. Up close her makeup was layers upon layers of extreme colour and texture and hours of labour. Her smile was not dissimilar to a clowns', but she wasn't clown-like...more just an exaggeration of human behaviour in most ways, appearance and demeanour. The lights silhouetted her hair-tower like the sunrise I'd just seen that day down at Union Square. That image of her is so vibrant and strong in my head, bigger than life. 

To be honest I can't really remember what happened after that. I think she liked me because I was smol and covered in flowers and Australian and I actually participated in her performance which probably made her feel relieved. She came up to our table afterwards and gave me free drinks and a big old hug. 

I've already told you about seeing Hedwig and the Angry Inch before I think - slightly different concept as the character of Hedwig identifies as non-binary and is not a drag queen, but in my mind the content of HatAI and the concept of drag performance are not entirely dissimilar. I also saw Hedwig in New York on that trip too, and that show changed me and inspired me for months after seeing it.  

The illussssiiooonnn, darling. I love the construction of an illusion for performance. I love the de-construction of an illusion for performance. I love performance as a constructive/de-constructive illusion. I love confusion, creating feelings for individuals in an audience that weren't there before. And I think that basically I just love theatre, but am no dancer or actor, so I rarely get to *feel* true theatre in my performative career - so I like to try and emulate it on my stage.

I dunno why I love it/them so much, really. But I think that not being sure is the main point.