Already shot that horse in the face

I've been feeling very sentimental about family recently. My two sisters and my Dad are overseas at the moment and it's just me and Mum and our dog Soda, not even nearly filling our house up. So it's kind of empty around here; not the 'I'll be back tonight after school/uni/work' kind of empty, with open books and clothes strewn and the lingering aroma of my sister's perfume but the extended-emptiness of holidays. My sisters' rooms are neat and clean for the first time in about six years (I think my little sister might have taken her entire wardrobe) and I'm free to roam in and out, flicking through clothes and books as I please but somehow it's not the same when I don't have to sneak in and out. 


So today I wore my little sister's scarf with her makeup stains all over it, and my big sister's headscarf, and trundled defiantly into uni for exams and the like. I appreciated the routine of going to uni today more so than ever, if only because of the little absences of my family's idiosyncrasies present in this weird version of normal life. I miss my little sister watching Seinfeld and Facebooking and eating two minute noodles and talking on the phone and doing homework all at once! I miss my Dad sneezing for ten minutes at a time! I miss seeing my big sister's bedroom light on through my window when I go to sleep! I miss walking out of the house at the start of the day and having things turned completely upside down by the time I get home!


In all seriousness and my sentimental and romantic way I do feel that we are all each other, especially family, which means I am not all here...parts of me are halfway across the world, awake when I'm sleeping. Of course I can still function without them here but it's not the same, like if you're making a cake and you use Equal instead of sugar. Urgh not really.


Oh it's not so bad I suppose. The house is quiet and I can play piano whenever and however I want. I do like the quiet. And I like having my Mum to myself, sitting giggling watching The Simpsons with Soda on the couch. 


No, it's not so bad. And soon enough we'll be whole again. 

(Also in honour of the death of my COMPULSORY JAZZ playlist on iTunes, here's some Billie to commemorate all that is well and good in the land of jazz):