I'm in the tub, you on the seat

Sometimes when I'm alone I feel like I'm two people. One person is really great and says stuff like "OK! Today is a great day! You're gonna wake up early, wear the perfect outfit, kill it at gym, write beautiful songs and float around magically all day being productive and kind and sweet!" That's the guy that's been helping me get out of bed for my 6.30 gym sessions, helping me sit down and write and sing, and helping me breathe in and out a lil slower.

But then there's this other person in me that's like "You know at the end of next year you're not going to be at uni right? Also you don't have enough money to move out. You seriously need to save more. Are you really going to eat that? OK so you just ate that now feel guilty about it for the rest of the week. Also that piece you wrote for class was really stupid and lame and I can't believe you're not getting more out of this uni course. Are you successful yet? No - also you're not working hard enough. You're 20 and that's really old, why don't you have your life sorted out yet? Hello!!! Be worried about everything forever!"

I used to think that the two ~people~ were just me, in me, thinking about my life and how it works and I thought these thoughts were honest and whole. But as I get older and the edge of 21 is drawing ever closer I've had this amazing revelation: they really are beings that exist within my psyche. There's a negative one, and a positive one and just like all that yingyang stuff they both have to exist for me to live but it's important to recognise and observe the balance.