Rest in peace and raise hell in heaven

On top of my normal run-til-I-die fitness routine I started this ridiculous weights program called the 30 Day Shred, mainly because I want to be a skinny minnie. It's like this fitness DVD with Jillian Michaels, that American Biggest Loser trainer. After doing four days of SHRED I've gotta say, I'm falling slowly but surely in love with her. Jillian Michaels that is. She's got this scary determination thing, where nothing is impossible for her, and she looks SO good and is SO strong and I just want to be her!!!!!

Super cool workout DVD menu YEAH!

I feel really slow at the moment, like everything I do is taking a really long time for me to do it. I've been struggling with that voice in the back of my head that tells me I'm not worth anything, and why am I even trying with this music thing when if I was going to make it, I would've made it already. What makes me happy during times like this is being productive, like right in the face of all this doubt. So I do some exercise, try to write something for band and then something for myself. Sometimes I don't get anywhere, but sometimes I get somewhere. And I guess 'somewhere' is pretty much where I'm headed right now, because anything more specific than that is impossible to predict.