So this is the end of the story

I guess you could say I'm having a crisis. But it's a crisis so common it's almost mundane.

I'm leaving school in precisely a week, and after exams, I will be a free agent (as no one says). I didn't realise how close the end of school was until daylight savings kicked in, and I was sitting in sunlight at 7.30PM in my summer school dress watching 1971's Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory with Gotye's Eyes Wide Open running through my head

(we walk the plank/with our eyes wide open)

One more week, of the life we've known for the last twelve years. One more week of teachers caring, of getting knocked around in the corridor, of leaning over double to drink from a bubble tap. Of punching guys in the arm as you walk past, of lunchboxes, of still-too-big uniforms and blazers, of school assemblies, harmfully heavy school bags and of wooden lockers, with no locks because everyone knows everyone at my school. We're like The Brady Bunch - nothing gets stolen, everyone's friends and perhaps some of our teachers are still stuck in the early seventies...

All the anxiety, and stress, and the sadness that I've experienced this year will be 'officially' over in a week's time. Things will be different next year, maybe better - but riding the school bus home this afternoon, overcrowded, sweaty and hot as usual, shoulder to shoulder, cheek to cheek with my friends, being stupid and rude and loud and teenage-ery, sitting in our usual seats right at the back of the bus, I know for certain how much I'm going to miss this time in my life. It sounds corny, I know. And also hypocritical, when you consider the amount of times I've thrown my hands in the air and said 'I can't WAIT to get out of this fucking place' and complained about year 12 and complained about this and that and the other thing. The truth is, I have found such happiness this year it's only fair that it is essentially balanced out.

I love when a piece of music, or an album, becomes a symbol for a time in your life of great significance. Being fifteen was all Joni Mitchell's Blue and Janis Joplin's Pearl. Breaking up was all Bon Iver's For Emma, Forever Ago and Noah and the Whale's The First Days of Spring. Summer is Hard Candy and August and Everything After by Counting Crows. Childhood was America's Greatest Hits and After the Gold Rush by Neil Young. I predict, therefore, Gotye's Making Mirrors will become the 'leaving school' album, even if just because of the song Eyes Wide Open.

I feel like this is what we're doing and this is what being young is all about. I know what I'm doing - I'm leaving school, I'm going to become a part of the 'real world'. But I don't know anything, anything, of the consequences of my actions. We walk the plank, with our eyes wide open.

WE WALK THE PLANK/WITH OUR EYES WIDE OPEN