Don't worry baby

This is a picture of me, just after my run today. 


About a year ago or so a friend asked me to take a picture of myself after going for a run, just being funny. I declined so passionately, in that awful teen-gurl state of mind that tells you that you are ugly, particularly so when you are not wearing make up or nice clothes or on the arm of a nice lookin' bit o' man meat. *


Over the last year or so I have come to realise that looking nice doesn't totally mean looking nice. It has more to do with being nice, or something along those lines. I know that's SUPA CORNY and something your dear old mum would say but I think it's something that needs to be brought to the attention of general society. When I say looking nice doesn't have everything to do with looking nice (I do understand how confusing that is), I don't mean to say that you shouldn't put an effort into your appearance. Yet by 'effort', I mean you should really make a definite effort to decide how to project who you really are to the world. This includes appearance, and mannerisms, and etiquette, and pretty much everything you can call 'you'. 


You gotta figure out how to show the world how great you are!


I remember the first time I wore a bird in my hair to a party when I was like fifteen and people kept looking at me like 'Does she actually know that there's a bird in her hair? Is it real? Is it taxidermy? Is she insane? What is life? Huuuh???' and I'd never felt so free. Just a little bird! Now when I wear my birds, it's as if the stupid little things are actually alive. People look at them and they are laughing. Actually laughing! I think that is just so wonderful and so beautiful that I'll take the stares and the comments and whatever you can throw at me, I don't care. If my appearance is amusing or entertaining to others, or is the cause of some stranger's laugh, it is so worth it. 


I've found myself favouring looking 'interesting' rather than 'nice', particularly at gigs. I'm not sure if it's an attention-seeking thing (sometimes, my friends, when you're playing a sports bar in some godforsaken suburb to a large group drunken 50 year old men, you need all the help you can get), or even an insecure thing ('I'm not entirely confident with the quality of my set so if I put a fake cat on my head hopefully you'll be distracted by that and I won't have to talk to you'), but personally I've always wanted to call it a 'desire to please'. When people see someone wearing something utterly ridiculous yet somehow kind of nice, it intrigues them, and makes them think, maybe even makes them laugh. That's the ultimate, don't you think?


Back to the SELF ESTEEM, GURL! You gotta love what you wear and love what you look like and just love bein' you, 'cause bein' you ain't so bad friend! 


This is one of the most hypocritical things I've ever written, and people who know me well will be like 'Uh huh!' But I'm beginning to realise that if you don't love yourself (to an extent, anyway), it's absolutely impossible, and unfair, to expect others to let you into their lives. 


So bringing it all back to the above photo - I know I look silly. I know I am sweaty, and my fringe is too short (an incident with some blunt scissors and I have no one to blame but MYSELF), and YEAR 12/SEVERE CAFFEINE ADDICTION is written all over my face. But hey! Thumbs up! Things aren't so bad. Looking good isn't everything - if you feel good about you, then you're lookin' pretty damn good to me. 


Yeah!


* Before you read this, you should know that I'm in a MOTIVATED MOOD. When this happens, the ends of my verbs suffer dra-grammatically (bein', goin', doin' etc). You have been warned.