Everything in abundance

everything in abundance, including suffering

looking down at my phone and realising every question i want answered is some variation of 'how to stop it'

when i already know there's no stopping it, and that it's just how it is and because that's how it is it's ok with me, make sense?

little things glow
two big strong hands wrapped around my little one
a beautiful sunny day when it was supposed to storm
a tap on my shoulder; my song over the speaker, 
a smile and promise of 'later' -

L laughing at my new glasses fogging up

high street at dusk, an accidental culinary tour of sydney rd 
sleepy studio eyes squinting into the sun
little quiet bodies in between the speakers

K tilts her head, gives me permission to stop feeling like hell

just a small message wondering where i am, what i'm doing today, 

i drive into the country with G keeping me company on the phone, and it's so blissful to talk about anything else for once - to be reminded constantly that everything else continues to turn and age and roll over. 

something warm burns reliably in me when i'm told i'm helping

something hot floods my cheeks, 
a realisation
my voice hasn't done that in months, 
that coloratura indignation
on behalf of someone i love.

then a coward punch - 
i always thought the gardens might be nice 
on a day like that.

just soft focus self made memory
prophecies sit and rot

i get back up