Emotional champ

I was sinkin' beerz with friends last night and it's always weird when people say they read my blog because I feel like I just write and write on this thing and it just disappears into the internet vortex...but anyway, my friend said that she liked the way I keep talking about emotions and thinking and stuff lately and it made me laugh out loud because I am a monumental dork. But seriously, feelings do matter!


I guess I have been thinking about ART a lot in relation to everything and the way that we filter the world through our experiences and in turn what we create is an extension of who we are, in some kind of tangible format. My bandmate patted me on the shoulder at the Bon Iver gig the other night, completely out of the blue, while listening to this song and said something along the lines of 'Eilish, I'm glad you write songs about who you are and what your life is. People can relate to them. You'll be up there soon enough.' ('Up there' being a reference to the stage, not 'up there' as in heaven as in dead. I hope.) That was exactly what I needed to hear just right then and my heart just swelled to about a million times their normal sizes like the Grinch or something. 


I like to think that everything we create reflects everything we have been and done. How could it not? Which, I guess, supports this idea that all creative endeavours are sourced from the same basic emotions because we are all the same - pretty much. I mean we all love, we all lose, we all live and we're all stupid, and I don't really see any reason why the same conclusions that can be drawn from a Radiohead song can't be drawn from Sylvia Plath's Ariel. I think there's something so exquisitely beautiful about that because it is inherently comforting and soothing to believe that everyone has felt just as badly, if not worse, than you feel or have felt, and everyone is capable of happiness because we've been happy and sad since the dawn of time and there's just so much evidence of that. 


From the amount of 'I mean's and 'I guess's in the last paragraph you can tell I'm not entirely sure how to articulate how I feel but I want you to know that it's a good feeling, to believe that everything is connected. I think that believing that you're never really completely alone is probably one of the most comforting things anyone could ever feel. 


I'm afraid we're all afraid. I miss people missing from me people missing me too. I'm an emotional champ but so are we.