Moon: 99.4%, Waxing Gibbous

1.15am

Every night is a late night and every morning starts too soon. I have been completely exhausted. 


Today I lay face-down on my bed listening to I'm On Fire. 

I am pulled in every direction. I can't think and I think too much. 

We sit on the porch and let the wind bully us. My hair sticks to my lips.

I pin pictures to my new walls. I eat too much because I'm terrified. 

I paint my nails to pick it off. The moon is full and I feel it all. 


I drive home by myself most nights, listening to the radio and serenely looping my fingers around the wheel, safe and familiar. I imagine I'm driving to the international departures bit of the airport. I never am.

I never know what I'm doing.