Lots of good things are happening. I've been feeling good, and the universe has been presenting options and opportunities to me that make me feel as though things are going to be good for a while. I've got some new jobs, I'm not working at the cafe anymore (which makes me SO happy - I can officially say I am making a living by being a musician! Also the amount of toilet scrubbing I am now required to complete has been reduced monmentally), and the music we've been creating with Frida and the music I've been making on my own and with other projects (shh for now) are really next level!
I've been thinking about how it looks like I won't be running away on a plane in 2015, which is something I have done for the last two years. Although that makes me feel restless and itchy I feel a rumbling of chances writhing underneath my feet, like all the good little things that are happening right now are only leading to something really cool that will be offered if I just continue to work hard and wait. I turn twenty-two on Saturday, which I kind of hate, but am trying not to be negative about! The day itself is going to be awesome - I actually really like birthdays and as each birthday passes I love and cherish thoughtful birthday cards more and more. Me and Lew have a now-longstanding tradition of making each other elaborate birthday and christmas cards and I keep 'em all to read when I feel sad. Birthdays are just a really nice reminder that you are loved and as I get further and further away from childhood I cherish those reminders more and more, 'cause you just don't hear them as often when you're a grown up! Is that depressing?
As I get older I can feel little silly young parts of me maturing and developing which is a really, really good feeling. Ever so slowly I am finding it easier to cope with body image issues, stress, depression, anxiety, PERFORMING - and even little things like speaking up for myself and making phone calls and meeting new people and asking for (and telling!) people assertively what I WANT - every day I get closer and closer to being able to call myself a 'grown woman' and it feels goooooood. I recently hung out with some friends of friends in year 12 and I was reminded very vividly of how stressed, anxious, depressed and terrified I was during that entire year...I feel as though only now, at practically 22 years old, I am properly mentally equipped to tackle that whole VCE saga! With all this being said however, the last few weeks have been a bit tumultuous, especially as I embark on this honours ~journey~ alone in a stressful little self-directed ball. But dammit, I did super well on my latest assessment and I can do this whole thing on my own (with the extensive and generous help of my mentors...and my supervisor...and my friends and family...)!
^^ Speaking of which, this is my ethereal mentor Ainslie, who is incredibly generous, sweet, thoughtful and talented - the most underrated Australian artist around at the moment if ya ask me. I still get nervous around her 'cause she's just so cool and I am constantly saying and doing dorkoid things.
I also wanted to upload 'Clean' by Taylor Swift but my girl has her copyright sorted. Greer and I just bought VIP tickets to her show in December and I've already cried about it.
Also I'm on Twitter now. Follow me pls.
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