What are your goals?

Above are some relevant pics - me literally ecstatic that my hair's now long enough to put up in Sailor Moon pigtails, sweet Hudson contemplating some Frida-related artistic decisions, some notes on how I would imagine Hounds of Love would sound if written and recorded in 2015, and a beautiful sleeping puppy in the PR office I am interning at. 

Not pictured is the adorably domestic breakfast that my love laid out for me in the middle of the night, anticipating my obsessively early rising to get to work on time. Not pictured is us laughing until we're really choking at 2am, our faces glowing in front of computer screens where baby 2D versions of ourselves walk around like aliens, drinking wine out of mugs in a new shell of a home. Wandering home wondering how long we get to be lucky enough to live this way. Wandering a shopping centre searching for nothing in particular and hearing my teacher's voice singing on the radio and feeling as though the universe didn't forget about me after all. Listening quietly to people I admire on the other side of their twenties and being comforted by the fact that they are extremely successful and together and actually  excited for me, about my mysterious next few years, where I'll go, what I'll achieve. 

(It feels good to have the support and belief of a great number of people that I admire - more than I even think about and just take for granted. I am taking on large endeavours this year and am very lucky to even have the year and the resources and the support to do so.)

These past few weeks I have been writing to-do lists, which are infinitely helpful and calming, and trying to sort through insecurities and worries with excellent time management. So far, so good, with only a couple of hiccups - I like to operate under high levels of stress because I am definitely the most creative and productive when I am super wired, but often I get the balance wrong and over-commit and feel like I might really truly be DYING. I have recently realised that just because you potentially could do something, doesn't mean you should. *Dead*lines can be pushed back if they are self-enforced and it won't stop the world's orbit (and, being my own boss for most of my financial and creative endeavours it is I who makes the stupid, usually unrealistic, deadlines in the first place), and even if they aren't self-enforced there is usually room to move with a kind tutor or friendly employer. Recently I said no to some work shifts simply because I have a list of priorities for 2015 and saving up by working at a job is one of them, but only like halfway down the list. I would rather have more time to work on the music I am making this year than work an extra shift at the cafe just because I technically could do it. I have my whole life to technically do that shit.