Well, it can be safely said that my life has totally and completely changed now that I can legally drive a car on my own.
This actually scared the bejesus outta me don't ya know! I was driving home from dropping my sister off and I just got so frightened by how very old I now feel, and how very ADULT, that I suddenly got totally removed from the present and became a little girl again. A little girl who sure as hell should not be allowed behind the wheel of a car. I felt very, very small, particularly in comparison to my car which seems much too big, too dangerous, too loud and too smelly to be something that I can call mine.
Last night I left to go to a party and my whole family stood out on the driveway and watched me drive away. I am the first daughter of three to get her license and I think my parents are having an even stranger time adjusting than I am. My Mum tried to call me to see if I was at my destination yet knowing full well that I could not answer while driving. My Dad stood at the top of our driveway, and I let him guide me as I manoeuvred myself out (even though I really can do it myself). He stood there watching me until I drove away. It was a bittersweet coming-of-age memory moment that I will file away in my heart forever, kinda like something outta Crossroads...
I am getting used to it though. Today I certainly felt more free than freaked out. And I have discovered the unadulterated joy of driving with all the windows down and a loved one right there next to you. Last night I even listened to Joni Mitchell as I drove myself around, reliving my childhood with the very same songs I used to listen to in the back seat of our Volvo stationwagon from the ages of 1-8. As she always does Joni sung so sweetly to me, but only me this time - and as I tried to keep my head driving in the complete wrong direction I sung with her, the words that I learnt so many years ago now.
I'm finally growing up.
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