Mama, you been on my mind

Things actually continue to happen and the world continues to rotate after BIG GIGS (this ever fails to catch me by surprise); in fact we've been booked in to play next week with Superjuice at Red Bennies which will be good times and good funs. Sifting through the aftermath last night with the band over coffee and chamomile tea we were talking about things like managers and royalties and festivals and all those dreamy foreign things that have now become serious things that we have to consider and be wary of instead of just dream about them at the house parties we used to play at, trying to disentangle our leads from party-popper remnants and shooing drunken teenagers away from my fragile keyboard.

Everyone who's followed my blog for even just a little while would know that music and art  is quite everything I am, the two go hand in hand in my head, and it's nice to have a destination that you have so completely decided on it feels as though someone else has decided for you. In all other aspects of my existence I cannot manage decision making, I suck at it, and regret either choice and feel guilty and backtrack over things and worry about most things - and unfortunately a lot of people are like this don't ya know...But in a sense I'm incredibly lucky; having such adamant faith in any type of decision is so, so rare for me, I'm just very lucky that I am so sure about something as important as the FUTURE.  Or whatever. 

I find that music is not something I second-guess. Things sound good because they just do; I know there's technical reasons that theory teachers have concocted and while I understand (mostly kinda yeah) and appreciate the information and stuff, you know, there are just certain things that cannot be explained. The way the chords C, E7 and Am sound when played in progression make me feel so good I could just melt and that's it. It just feels good, and right, and there's no two ways about it. I like it, and I just do, for not really any reason other than it sounds great. That makes me feel so much better than anything ever has,  except for my family and friends who, by the way, understand the frightening, awesome power of that too. 

I'm a better person because of what I do, and I do what I do because I'm the kind of person who needs this to survive, really. I like it very, very much! 

I'm writing a vocal piece at the moment which I thought needed terribly romantic lyrics, even poetry, to put into a harmonic melody...after realising that this actually wasn't really the case I was left with a pile of cliched but lovely poetry that I adore just because I do. 

'Herr God, Herr Lucifer
Beware
Beware.

Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.'

*

'They might ignore me immediately
in my moon suit and funeral veil.
I am no source of honey
so why should they turn on me?


Tomorrow I will be sweet God, I will set them free.

The box is only temporary.'



*


“Nothing compares to your hands, nothing like the green-gold of your eyes. My body is filled with you for days and days. You are the mirror of the night. the violet flash of lightening. The dampness of the earth. The hollow of your armpits is my shelter. My fingertips touch your blood. All my joy is to feel life spring from your flower-fountain that mine keeps to fill all the 

paths of my nerves which are yours."