I paint myself because I am so often alone, and because I am the person I know best.
- Frida Kahlo
Suddenly I am intrigued by close up pictures of blood, because blood seems to be a bit of a vibes theme this week. Last night I went to a crazy gig by, and with, my crazy friends and it got crazy but in a nice safe way. I like being entranced by visuals with music as well don't you know, and that was what last night was all about. Then I dragged my sister's dress through muddy sidewalks walking in that strange tipsy way, as though you have so many important places to be when really the most important place you're headed is towards more alcohol. Well that, and music, and a dance floor so unprepared for our ecstatic movement that it cleanly broke.
Standing outside the party with my phone pressed to my ear, The Jackson 5's ABC muffled but definite and tiny drops of rain getting caught on my eyelashes like crystals. Sinking against bricks, opposite and sick. Putting nostalgia in a cage.
In other news I'm a mess of emotions more so than usual, as one of my best friends in the whole WORLD makes her final preparations for her overseas adventure, leaving this little town for much grander things for four months or so. I know nobody who deserves this more than she does; she has spent the last seven months or so working, and working, and saving, and pouring drinks for buck's nights and cleaning up vomit in bathrooms and doing 17 hour days to save up for this trip, and now something that seemed so unreal is finally here and it's hitting us hard! She is so excited, and I am so excited for her, but saying goodbye will be hard!
Tonight was like a 'farewell' barbecue for her and her travelling partner, and as I watched them stand together, quietly going over logistics, ticking things off on their fingers as they spoke, my heart flew out of me and towards them in some weird empathetic fit. I love them both very much and I know they will have an absolutely amazing time and while the mother and best friend in me frets, I'm reassured by their dedication to this whole crazy thing, proven again and again as they each worked hard for the money, day in day out.
I said to Mum just before 'We should've caught up more! We should've seen each other more!' and she kind of smiled and said 'that's what happens - real life gets in the way' and she's right of course, like Mums usually are, and God last year I was so ready to be out in the real world but now the real world is all around me and everywhere and everything and it's scary! And crazy! But in a good way!
No comments:
Post a Comment