21

I'm writing this to you from my SICKBED (which is coincidentally also my normal bed), as I'm listening back to a tune I've been working on for the last couple of days (work been delayed by the mucus-y vocal tone that I'm rocking right now, 0/10 do not recommend). I'm very frustrated by sickness in general and had a lil bit of a bumpy health ride the last couple of months (physical/mental) so I was JUST getting back on my feet when I got slapped around the face with another cold! Buuuhhhhh. But yesterday my sister was talking about her boss who has rheumatoid arthritis which is an awful, debilitating illness that makes me so, so grateful for the health that I have. So I don't really have any right to complain huh...

Last night I went to the LuWow to see KB do their thang and it was really fun...our friend works behind the bar there so I kept going up to get drinks and chatting away without realising til later that I had a bigger pile of change in my hand than I was expecting (thanks grrlfriend if u read this!) Weirdly I felt like I hadn't been out in like forever and all I'd been doing is blowing my nose into napkins at work etc so I don't know I felt very free, especially on the train ride there. I love trains at night because I'm usually headed somewhere fun and it's all very nostalgic and there are hardly any people and I like to imagine stories for the people who are there, where they're going, is that person they like going to be where they're headed and secretly deciding to root for them or not in my brain...I like to put on really ~moving~ songs and get all worked up into a little ball of feelings and play my life out like a video clip, daydreaming about the day when I can really live my life like that and not just in little made-up minutes on the train at 10pm, you know how it is. Anyway yeah so last night was fun even though I had a cold even though I wore the wrong shoes and even though the LuWow shut at midnight (?). 

Anyway I wrote this thing about how I'm very scared of turning 21 but I think I might also be a little bit excited about it too. I'm going to try and keep posting regularly but sometimes things happen and I have to be a real world person you know how it is. Much love to you. 

^^ COME TO THIS OK BYE ^^