H8RZ BEWARE

As predicted the holidays have been rough for me. I know tides turn and everything's cyclic and we all just have to ride things out and I'm totally cool with that. The other day I got out of bed and went for a run just, and only just, because I wanted to, and that's an awesome start. 

Last night I think I might've finally made the conscious decision to actually work, and work hard, for true happiness. There is no point in existing if you're not living. I think I've realised that 'happiness' is not a given; it is only earned through learning to balance contentedness within yourself, and the drive to become ~better~ ie. successful etc. I mean, of course, from my experience happiness comes in many shapes and forms and it can all be triggered by different things, and you know I love that, and I particularly love that sadness works in very much the same way. How lucky we are to be able to feel all these things at once!

I love the way my body curves in below my ribs and then out again at the thighs. I love the way my little wrists look at the end of my freckly muscly arms. I love the way my hair has withstood the abuse I have treated it with over the last few months. I love the way my strong lil legs can carry me all day through work and gym and gigs and never fail, not even one time! I am not stick thin, and that's OK, even if some gross little part of me is begging to differ. It's OK, I'm OK!!!

I will be successful. Even though we are taught to not bignote ourselves and to accept compliments with apologies I'm gonna say it: I will be successful and I will lead a successful, fulfilling, exciting and HAPPY life. If my confidence in this offends you then I don't really wanna talk to you so there. 

I am sososo done with being my biggest H8R when I should really be my own biggest fan.