Paradise

When I walk I like to walk with my dog. He's dorky and doesn't do much except eat and dribble but he's good fun to walk with because he's like a child and like Bernard Black says, 'Children are always looking surprised. Everything's new to them!' So when Soda is gambolling about in some flowers it reminds me that flowers are actually beautiful and so on. 


I guess there's something romantic in being young and disobedient even for an anxious old soul like me. I realised this when I was running home at 1AM this morning still kind of tipsy and thanking my lucky stars that there were no other suspicious looking characters on the train. I put pearls and flowers in my hair because it made me feel like a mermaid princess but they fell out into the gravel on my dirt road with no streetlights. 


Watching Lady Gaga's Monster Ball tonight and she's always full to bursting with all these profound anecdotes that she speaks so softly and articulately it just makes me want to be her because she seems to live in a world where walking down the street isn't just walking down the street, it's an outer body experience with strangenesses and charms that ooze inspiration or something like it. 


I like the way my friends know to expect songs from me when I've been hanging around different crowds and when I walk furiously in headphones and when cider's on tap at the bar and I've got an envelope of Christmas money that should be lasting me until I get a job for the summer. 


I guess that mainly the words I write on my walls I'll just tear down in the new year like I'll probably cut all my hair off again soon like last summer and I'll drown in my own sweat and tears again but it will all be worth it because well one day I guess we'll all get out of this place